I don't know where you are blog readers but I hope you have some AC. Boy it is hot here in Charlottesville, VA. And while I was complaining about the cold office I sit in, I am not saying a mumbling word about it today. Anyway, it has been a while but time got away from me as I was making my transition to Charlottesville, VA for the summer. Nevertheless, I always have something on my mind but it usually takes the right moment in time for me to put my thoughts into a blog. So here I am and I guess what you wanna know is, what's on my mind this time?
Well, some recent, some not-so-recent, and some fairly old events have caused me to re-evaluate the meaning of the term "friend". I know yall are like "uh-oh, who knocked over Sherry's Kool-aid?" Ah well I wish it were so simple. But actually it is a lot deeper for me than you may imagine. It's funny because nowadays, the term friend is used quite loosely. Especially on the internet. You have "myspace friends", "facebook friends", "Aggienation friends". Some people have over 1000 myspace friends. Now I ask you is it even possible to call over a thousand people your friend? Acquaintance, yes! Associate, yes, colleague, yes! But friend? I don't think so. Well I don't have that many myspace friends and truth be told, they are not all really my "friends". Now this is not a bad thing, doesn't mean I don't care about these folks. It just means by my definition of what a friend is, they are not all friends. You now even have the term BFF which for you less cool, savvy folks who don't keep up with the lingo of the young folks, means "Best Friends Forever". Imma come back to this term in a moment...
So what do I think is a friend? Well as recent as today, I got this list of what a friend is from a friend/she-ro of mine and I tend to agree with what she says. So rather than re-invent the list, I will just give it to yall. She says a friend is:
- someone who listens
- someone who is honest
- someone who doesn't judge
- someone who actually cares about me and how I am doing just as much as I care about them and how they are doing
- someone who checks in on me periodically
- someone that has your back in good/bad/sad times
- someone who can keep things in confidence
- someone who can be honest with you and vice versa
- someone you can talk to about anything or about nothing at all
- someone who doesn't get mad if you don't call them right back and understands that you WILL call them and they understand that we all have busy lives
- someone you can laugh with, cry with
- someone who doesn't put on any airs or wear any masks
Now you see why I used this list? Pretty impressive right? As I read this list, I thought, ok Sherry, do you have any people like this in your life? And to my surprise, my list is real short. Some of yall are surprised by that. Being a world-renowned blogger (smile) doesn't make you a friend magnet, I will tell you. Now some of yall no doubt are reading this and thinking "am I on Sherry's friend list?" Well read the list, if this applies to you then yes, absolutely, you are my friend. If not, then I love ya anyhow!!! Now some of yall don't really care if you are my friend and that's cool too. Cause I love you as well with the love of my BFF! And feel free to put me to the test. Cause I actually would not expect people to be for me what I am not for them. And if I don't pass then I love ya anyhow. But know, I am trying.
Now is it reasonable for me to think one person could be all those things in the list? I don't know. It's not like it is rocket science. Basically boils down to being a loving and caring individual. I try and I may fall short but I am always evaluating what I can do to be a better person and better friend. Why? Cause it is important to me to be real with people, with myself and most of all, real with God. And that is all I can expect from anyone and that is to be real. But sometimes, I have expected a bit more than what I have received just because I just expect people to be real. Yea, I am an idealist but yall knew that already. Anyway, these high expectations usually put me in a place of learning hard lessons on who is real and who isn't. Who I can trust and who I can't. Who I can count on and who I can't. Who is my friend and who is not.
But today ladies and gentleman, I am writing this blog to say, my head is no longer in the clouds. I am experiencing some freedom of my mind. I often wondered if I could do this without compromising who I am. And this same person who gave me the list, told me no, I don't have to compromise. Basically, I am not comfortable compromising who I am by God's grace to line up with everyone else. You know how we do, "if they don't care about me, then I don't care about them. If they don't call me, I am not calling them, if they can't be honest with me then I am not gonna be honest with them...blah blah blah." I really want to be someone like this cause frankly it would be easier. But that is not who I am. So what's next?
What's next is I look to the example of the real BFF? (you know best friend forever). Guess who? Yea Jesus! Yep now he is a friend. I mean, he knew Judas was gonna sell him out but did he kick Judas out the crew. Nope. He loved him anyhow. He told Peter, you might say all that stuff now about dying for me but you are gonna turn your back on me, not once but 3 times...When the Roman soldiers came, all Jesus's boys ran. The same men who had been with Jesus and pledged loyalty to...left. But Jesus continued to love them as raggedy as they were. He kept his promise to send a comforter even after He was gone. But most importantly, He never compromised who He was or what He was called to do no matter how unbelieving they were. Now He did call them out on it. They never got away with it but He never stopped loving them and it didn't stop Him from making the ultimate sacrifice for them. WOW! Now that is a true friend! Good news for me, cause I believe, is that He is my friend too. The real BFF!
Now I certainly don't expect any of yall to be a friend to me like Jesus. Cause there is only one Jesus. And if you expect me to be like that then yall gonna be real disappointed. Best I can do is pray that God will help me be who I need to be in Him so I can be a better friend to whoever I am called to be a friend too.
Well my mind is free and I am outta here. Talk to yall soon, BBRF (that means Best Blog Readers Forever)
*This blog is dedicated to my friends, you know who you are*
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