I know what you are thinking..."another blog so soon?" Sure, why not? My thoughts always come in spurts and this time I have spurted again. Before I begin, let me just say, Happy early July 4th! Don't pig out too much this weekend. But I hope you do enjoy yourself. At least try to use this weekend not to think about gas prices...that's enough to depress anyone.
So anyway, here's what was on my mind. I was actually going to write a continuation to my "friendship" blog as I still have some more to say on the matter BUT something else came along and I decided to blog about this instead. Of course I might spurt again and still write my Friend blog part II, we'll see. So a couple of weeks ago, I received this email which contained a sermon called "Sex and the City" The pastor was using references to the movie about the four friends looking for love as they live in NYC. Now I never watched the tv show so I didn't have any interest in seeing the movie but I kinda have the gist of what it is about just from the previews, etc...So this pastor's sermon begins using these women as examples and then he goes on to discuss relationships, sex, and single Christians. Anyway, I decided to pose my concerns of this message to a Christian male whose opinion I trust. Then I thought I need to blog about this so here are my thoughts as I posed them to him. Of course, it's not verbatim, I had to tailor it for my blog readers...
As I listened to the message I was like "he is preachin'!!!"... but then I began to ponder the message later that evening. Then as I considered it some more and my cynical side began to surface. Why cynicism? Because I thought, (1) we've, Christians, heard all this before and (2) many will agree with these messages, praise the Lord but still follow their flesh and (3) most of these messages come from married preachers who rarely expose how they handled these situations before they got married. For all we know, they have been married all their lives and never dealt with this kind of thing. I will give Juanita Bynum credit though, she is one of the few who pulled out her skeletons with her "No More Sheets" message which was before she got married. I think that is why women were drawn to her. Then she got married and acted just like the rest...
Anyway, I thought he seemed to be doing a lot of talking to the women. A lot of his examples, inferences, and what not seemed to speak to the mistakes and bad choices women make. Of course, one could argue, his message was equally relevant to men. Sure. But I am thinking why not just put it out there about the men too, if he is going to take the direct approach. I have said time and time again, Christian men are not subjected to the criticisms and scrutiny of the Christian women. But who are these men leading the women astray? I can tell you, not all of them are non-Christian men. There are Christian men who want a Christian woman cause they want to be "equally yoked" but aren't really ready to submit to God's will. So what do they do, they either (1) convince the woman since she is his "soul mate" it is okay to sleep together, (2) respect the woman's wishes but gets his kicks on the side from someone more willing, (3) knows good Christian women but because she doesn't look a certain or act a certain way (usually by worldly standards), decides to get a non-Christian women who fits what he wants and hopes she will change or here's the biggy, (4) uses scripture to try and justify being disobedient and then relying on the fact, God is a forgiving God. All this makes me wonder, does a Christian man really want a Christian woman? While Christian women fall all over themselves, doing non-Christian things to snag a Christian man, Christian men do not seem to be pressed about it.
I am not taking the responsibility off the women because life is about choices. But can't you see how some women will say, "well, I want a man, he's a good man and a Christian and if all I have to do is this and that, I won't lose him." Soooo, she does and he moves on 'cause well, she has lost her credibility in his eyes. Now when what is done in the dark comes out in the light, the woman is looked at as a weak Christian, she needs prayer, please help her Lord and no one says, well what about the man? Remember, now I am not talking about the non-Christian men 'cause frankly we know how they roll. I am talking about the Christian ones.
God held Adam responsible for Eve's actions. So why is it always the women who need pray for deliverance and pray for strength and to get their acts together? Of course we do need to do this but I am speaking particularly about these kinds of single Christians messages like the pastor preached. They always seem to be directed at women. And it is funny how, when I think back to all of the sermons I have heard of this nature, they all are women-centric but for some reason, it finally hit me, "this is so one sided, what about what the men are up to?" Maybe I didn't notice before because it is what I had come to expect. One could argue maybe it is because there are more women than men in church. Which makes me think well there's the problem. Women are in church, the men are hit and miss so they are not being convicted as often. But on the other hand, if the women are the ones in church, what are they learning or what is being taught, if they can get so easily sidetracked from God's will? Hmmmmmm...
Honestly, I think the men still get off easy. Here is an example of what I mean just to illustrate my point though...I believe a Christian woman does want a real Christian man but a Christian man can take her (if she is willing to compromise) or leave her (he'll get a worldly woman and not worry about it). Either way, he's good in society's eyes. How so? Well, in the first instance, no one will know about the compromise, cause the Christian woman won't tell b/c it will make her faith look shaky and the Christian man won't tell cause he'll look like a playa or rogue. So what will people think? "Aw, What a fine Christian man. He found a fine Christian woman!" In the second instance, he will look like a hero, rescuing the worldly woman from a life of sin, helping her turn her life around. And of course if things don't work out, it won't be because he should have never been with her in the first place, it will be because she wasn't a Christian to begin with.
Are you following my logic? Probably not, but that's cool. I am sure one can argue against my points but remember this is of course just my humble opinion. At least I gave those of you who care about stuff like this something to think about. Anyway, yall can stick a fork in me 'cause I'm done!
*This blog is dedicated to "Sunshine". Thanks for indulging me and not getting offended as I went on my tirade about Christian men. Your feedback and understanding was greatly appreciated! And dedicated to "B-side" for her commitment to living for the Lord and being an inspiration!
