Another Level of a Complicated but Full Life!!!

Happy May Blog Readers! Spring is now among us and so is the pollen! Anybody out there suffer with allergies besides me? LOL! Anyway, since I last blogged lots of things have been on my mind but of course time does not afford me the chance to write about it all. But I decided it was time to communicate with my favorite blog readers. Don't know if you remember in my last blog I said, I had something to write about but the "They are who you thought they were" blog was something I was led to write about at that moment. Anyway, can you believe that after all this time, I still have that previous blog in my head and since it's there, I decided to share. (did I just rhyme? LOL)...
Some time ago, back in January 09 in fact, I did some non-scientific research to get some clarification on some commonly used phrases. Phrases that I often heard people say and in particular use as a "status" on social networking sites (ex. Facebook) I bet some are saying what is the big deal with the social networking sites...well, as a FB junkie, that is a another blog for another time. :)

Anyhoo, here is the email that I sent out to a few folks:
Hey! Yall know me, my little wheels are always turning. But I wanted to get some clarity on something that I might blog about but I wanted to do some research. I am asking you b/c I consider you a deep thinker. There are 3 commonly used phrases that whenever I hear them, I am left thinking, "Why do people say that?" and "What does that even mean?"
Phrase #1 - "taking it to another (new) level" or "going to another (new) level". This is a popular phrase especially in churches. And when preachers say it, the folks get excited. But I am always like, another level of what? Do people really know why they get excited about going to another or new level? This could mean alot of things...
Phrase #2 - "it's complicated". Alot of these social networking sites, have a place to put a relationship status and some people put "it's complicated". Single, I understand, Married, I understand, Divorced, I understand, and In a Relationship, I understand. It's complicated, means nothing. Cause if it's that complicated, you either need to work it out so you can stay married or in your relationship or you need to become single.
Phrase #3 - "living life to the fullest". Now I think I can appreciate what people are trying to say but when I begin to think about it, I am still left with nothing. Because it kinda indicates folks not sure what direction they are headed in life so they make this vague statement to indicate they're happy??? IDK...

So what do these statements mean to you? When you hear them or when you use them? Thanks for dialoging with me. :)

Now believe it or not, my deep thinkers did respond. So I guess you could say that this blog was written by the Blog Readers! So let's see what is on their MIND with regard to my questions:

Phrase #1 - "another or new level":
1. New level of spirituality, walk with God, faith, blessings, ...IT DEPENDS on what was being said prior but in all certainty its raising some aspect of spirituality.
2. I believe from my Bible studies "taking it to another level" means becoming that much closer to God.You must know God and be in relationship with God. A lot of people are religious but are not one with Christ. Therefore in your walk, you are forever moving higher towards being closer with God.
3. More dedication
4. Yes this one could mean lot of things but I take it as a another level of thinking. Mostly meaning a level of change or growth; almost like been there done that, what next.
5. It means, I'm about to get deep on you and take you beyond the surface of this topic.
6. Implies that you're not always giving it your all, but you are now prepared to for that particular moment.
7. I suppose when people take something to another level, what they really mean is going way too far. At least that's how I see it. I've never really thought about this phrase, nor do I use it very much. It seems rather trite to me.
8. It is vague but i guess i realize not everyone is mature enough or want to truly know about you. Some just want to ask you a question to talk about themselves.
9. I always think of climbing a flight of stairs when I hear this phrase...therefore, if you're taking it to another level, you're moving closer to your goal. I've also heard people use it in relationships meaning you're going from friends to something more romantic, non-committed to committed relationship, etc.
10. Pushing yourself to try and do more than you ever thought you could do.
11. This could mean one of two things, the first is that they are going to get off their butt and do something that they were supposed to do and they feel good about it or they are about to step out of their comfort zone and they need some encouragement to continue.

Phrase #2 - "it's complicated":
1. Complicated is complicated..neither single nor married: he's in jail; long dist. relationship and I have no idea where its heading, we are on and off etc. Remember the field you referred to says "status" and not what are you doing here/in ur relationship etc. I certainly can understand if someone says "complicated"..all it means is "its a long story and/or you don't want to hear it" or on a social networking site it means the space in that field is not large enough for my answer.
2. This one is easy.All that "it's complicated' means is that they are dazed and confused and don't have a clue. Either one,the other or both have issues which leaves them so perplexed as to what they should do.
3. I agree with you about its complicated. As a woman, it pisses me off, because I would hate to be apart of that relationship.
4. Anything that is worth doing will be complicated. When one is single, life is complicated. When one is married life is also complicated and divorced is almost like a death in the relationship which is very complicated to understand and to try to move forward. I think people a lot of time want the easy way out and don't want to put the work in to later enjoy the fruits of their labor.
5. I'm not willing to be honest about my current status or I'm in transition and open to advances. 6. Basically means someone doesn't want to put there business out there. It's better said as "I'm not spilling the beans".
7. "I don't want to talk about it, so leave me alone!" The person who uses this phrase doesn't have the balls to come out and say it--nothing's that damn complicated!
8. It's complicated is very funny to me, considering it should really say I don't what my worth is...because hanging onto a man that is possibly married, dating someone else, or simply just not that into you. It is worth you saying, I am single or don't place any status.
9. I totally agree with you!
10. If I tell you, I'll make you wish you never asked.
11. This phrase is used when people want to continue in their devilment that they know is wrong but they can't say because someone may tell them they are wrong and conviction may set in.

Phrase #3 - "living life to the fullest":
1. On the contrary it means they are aware of their life's mission, they have focus and drive and are aiming to maximize their potential a la the wise servant in the parable of talents.
2. Some folks have no direction! Some people are satisfied with whatever life they are living. Some on the other hand strive to accomplish something they have no idea of what it is they are supposed to be accomplishing.
3. Living to the fullest is without regret. Trying new things and making the most of all of your time an opportunities
4. Okay this one is a positive thing to say. Not necessarily meaning that but it helps to stay positive which helps to stay focus. Then again I can see saying this when my children are grown and healthy as well as myself doing what makes me happy which in turns allow me to live as I choose to live.
5. They are doing the best they can in their given circumstances. But as far as I'm concerned, you're right. They are vague statements that have become socially acceptable answers.
6. It's pretty vague, but I would think that a person is making a conscious effort to enjoy life. Some people are dry, boring and may not be a happy person in general......a person using this phrase wants you to know that life is well without going into specifics.
7. They really mean that they are truly appreciating every day. They don't worry about insignificant things, they don't make negative comments. They know that they are better off than so many other people and they APPRECIATE this knowledge. They know that life is precious and could be gone instantly. I think the only people who appreciate "living to the fullest" are those that have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. But, we ALL need to realize that we are ALL terminal, right?
8. For me it's me saying, I am not going to let others folks dim my inner light.
9. This phrase always seemed like rhetoric to me...a lot of people use it, but in reality are sitting around doing nothing. One person's definition of life to the fullest is definitely not another's!
10. Doing more with less and enjoying every minute of it!
11. This one is the Christian way to live, living as if it is your last day on earth, you should be walking in the purpose God has given you, fulfilling the plan set before you, encouraging folks along the way and able to rest at night because you have helped someone come closer to the kingdom.

You gotta admit Blog Readers, I know some pretty sharp people! Can you believe the insight that lies amongst us? Brilliant! Now I just want to add my own little insight. As far as phrase #1 and #2, even after getting clarification and after consideration, they still don't carry alot of substance in my book. I think if someone is going to say they are going to another level then some explanation should follow or I think you are just talking to be talking. For phrase #2, I think people use this phrase to indicate "I'm in a relationship but I'm not happy so if you want to step to me, I'm open". This is a tricky place to be in especially if you are married...ya know what I mean?

As for the last phrase, I can get with it after I put more thought into it. Usually when I ask people how they are doing or what's been up with them and they use this response, I think, "well I guess it's none of my business!" Not sure if I would ever use this phrase, but if by chance you ever hear me say, "I'm living life to the fullest", here is what I mean:

For me, living life to the fullest is more about growing into the woman God has ordained me to be and being obediant to His voice. Using these opportunities and gifts I have been afforded to glorify God and not solely for selfish gain. Living my life to the fullest means living without regrets from the sense, I did what God wanted me to (or put in a good effort). I lived in a way that my walk didn't cause anyone else to stumble...or I didn't live a contrary or hypocritcal life. Not regretting that when I could have been a help to someone I wasn't or failed to apologize to someone I hurt, or that I refused to let go of anything that was a hinderance (i.e past mistakes). It also means learning to stress less and let God be God. Worry less about what others think of me and concentrate on making God and myself proud so I can look in the mirror and like the person in the reflection.

Am I there yet? By no means but I work each day to improve and work on Sherry. I guess that is why I am always thinking, writing, and asking people off the wall questions! I guess I realize I can't do any of what I described alone. So living life to the fullest means I appreciate the people around me and never taking them for granted by thinking I know it all and don't need anyone's advice or help.

*This blog is dedicated to those who took the time to indulge me and respond to my questions*

They are who we thought they were...

Blog readers! Hope all is well with ya! I haven't blogged since before the entrance of 2009, so I know it's late but let me say, HAPPY NEW YEAR! It's February so there is still time to make it happy...right? Anyway, my initial blog was on a whole other topic, one for which I even did a bit of research; however, yall know me, anything can happen that will send me off into another direction, as such I have to go with the flow of where my mind leads me.

So an avid NFL football fan probably remembers these famous words by Former Arizona Cardinals Head Coach Dennis Green. After his team blew a game after being up by 20 points to the Chicago Bears, he had an adult temper tantrum at the post game press conference. His famous line was, "They are who we thought they were and we let 'em off the hook..." He was referring to the Chicago Bears who later went on to the Super Bowl. Anyway, this blog is not about football, but it made me think about something else...being delusional! Now if what Green says is true, he and his team were anything but delusional...am I right?

So what about the rest of us? Last night I was watching Dateline and the interview with the single mom of now 14 young children, 8 of which are newborns. And the more she talked the more I thought, "how delusional is this woman?" For instance, she says she will support her 14 kids with student loans! What kind of student loans is she getting? As a past and present recipient of financial aid, I need to know what type of aid she is getting since it's like that! :) Then she says, once she finishes school, she will get job and take care of her kids...So I don't have kids but I know people that do...so what is the going rate on day care these days for ONE child much less 14! Anyway, I found her thought process strange and well, delusional.

BUT this morning, I had an AH HA moment. It came to me, who am I to judge this woman's delusional-ness when I have been in a delusional state on more than one occasion. But I am not alone...haven't we all been there? What's that? Not you...hmmmm...Now our delusions may not be as severe and public as mom of 14 but it's there. So why am I talking about this? Because I think we need to understand that people and/or situations "are who and/or what we think they are..."

One thing about it, people always show us who they are. They may fake it for a minute but eventually, their true selves will emerge. Problem is, we do what Green says, "we let 'em off the hook". How many times has a person shown their true colors and we ignore it b/c surely this is not who they are. Bascially we want things to be what we want them to be and try to pass that crap on to others. Of course when it doesn't turn out like that, we get mad at that person or frustrated with that situation. But all along, "they are who we thought they were and WE let 'em off the hook!" So then who's to blame? Yep, we are!

Now we don't really see our own delusional-ness. Like mom of 14 probably thought she made complete sense but me and Ann Curry were no doubt thinking the same thing..."something is wrong with her!" Know this while we try to mask our delusional-ness and make folks think something is more than what is it...the folks around us know the truth and are looking at us the same way. So what can we do? Well, I don't know about you but I pray and ask God to open my eyes, my spiritual eyes that is, to see things as they are and not like I want them to be. He'll do it! Actually, God is really just showing us what we knew all along. It's not magic, b/c they are who we thought they were...

Anyway, this whole thing has allowed me to look at my own life and not so much at the mom of 14. Yea I still think she is delusional but hey, so have I about different people and things...As the Word says, in Luke 6:42 How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I hope this helps someone...a small wake up call. Think about the people or the situations you are dealing with and trying to convince yourself and others that it is more or better than what it is...now, remember the words of Dennis Green, "they are who we thought they were and we let 'em off the hook!"