FREEDOM of the MIND

Blog Readers, wow have I missed you all. It seems the time has gotten away from me. I last blogged in April and before I knew it, it was July. So I decided it was time to correspond with my "peoples".

Of course so much has been happening since my last blog that I could probably write for hours about stuff but I don't have that kind of time. So with the time I do have, I just wanted to type about something that I have pondered since my last blog. In honor of Independance Day, I am gonna "free my mind" somewhat.

I want to free my mind of what it means to be in graduate school earning a PHD. A friend of mine (Big shout out to Dr. Michelle) says that P.H.D. stands for "Permanent Head Damage". For all those who know, this statement is very funny and very true. I think people often underestimate the time and energy it takes to go through this process. And I say this because I think folks think I am kidding when I say "I am going to school (on a Sunday afternoon) or "I don't have time to..." It is more than just taking classes...for me, it is like a form of "hazing". Uh-oh, did I say hazing? Yep and it lasts for 4 years as opposed to the few weeks, greek orgs. have their pledgees on line. Oh and yes I did say four years! So for those who keep asking me if I am STILL in school. Yes I am. Some programs can take you as long as 5 years depending on your research. So don't look at me like an "underachiever" or a "career student" when I say I am still in school. That is just the nature of the beast.

So what is research in the PHD program? Research is developing your very OWN problem and solving it. Sounds easy? NOT! Because before you can do this, you have to make sure no one has ever done it before so you are not a copy cat. And you have to make sure when your committee asks, "So how do you think this research has contributed to the body of knowledge?" You will be able to answer with confidence. "THE BODY OF KNOWLEDGE"...now that is saying a whole lot right there...that statement alone is enough to cause permanent head damage. So what does it mean to solve your own problem AND contribute to the BODY OF KNOWLEDGE...it means that my research is always on my mind...ALWAYS!

I had the plesasure of attending a conference a couple weeks ago. I learned lots there but I had pangs of guilt b/c I wasn't working on my research. Yes, part of the permanent head damages involves guilt about not spending every waking moment on your work. Not writing or reading something 25 hours a day and 8 days a week and 366 days a year is not an option (at least that is how you feel)...see how messed up I am??? Oh yeah and what exactly is a "holiday"? Me and some collegues went to a 1 day conference for a presentation in VA during the Spring Break and called it a "vacation". Yep, in the PHD program, you take what you can get and are glad about it.

And let me free my mind with something else. Getting a PHD does not change the person, it changes other people and how they treat you. Most of the time if someone asks me what I do, I simply say, " I am in graduate school". Why? Cause the minute I say I am working on my PHD (getting that permanent head damage), folks change. They start talking funny (all proper like) and I am thinking "what is going on?" cause I am still speaking as "southern" as I was before. I probably said I was getting a PHD real country like too...Or folks start trying to prove how smart they are by talking about "educated-type" stuff and I am thinking "So we can't joke no more?". Or they act like we are on Jeopardy and try to "test" my brain. It's like "since you are getting a PHD, you must know this stuff." I guess they want to know (along with my committee) if I can truly contribute to the BODY OF KNOWLEDGE". Some folks will politely end the conversation with me.

People have asked me, "So what do you want to be called?" or "You don't expect me to call you Dr. Springs, do you?" And I am like call me "Sherry". They have me wondering if Sherry has been my name all these years or was I dreaming? Now in the appropriate setting, I am sure I will be addressed as Dr. Springs but the people who usually asks this will not be sitting in my classroom or attending a conference or working at the same institution as myself. So I often wonder why they ask me stuff like that.

And finally, I must free my mind of one more thing. People have asked me about my research. Boy I dread this question...Why? Because I know that if I explain it the way I understand it, in the end, the person who asked will be looking at me like "WHAT?" Which causes me to have to answer more questions. And then the person thinks you are just trying to show how smart you are. But that's not it at all. Most of the time, we are just understanding what we are doing ourselves. Trust me, everyone's contribution to the BODY OF KNOWLEDGE is so different and specialized, it is not uncommon to find no one understands but you. This is a common plight of most PHD students (yeah we talk).

We have joked that a Reality Show could be made about the life of a PHD student. Hey, don't roll your eyes...it would make for some interesting television 'cause we have our share of drama.

Anyway, I am glad I was able to free my mind. Thanks for your attention. And if none of this makes any sense or there are any typos or grammatical errors please understand that I suffer from getting that P.H.D. (permenant head damage). Happy July 4th, Er'body!!!

*This blog is dedicated to all the folks who have that P. (Permanent) H. (Head) D. (Damage) and those still in the trenches with me (especially the "lab rats" of IRC #328 and IRC #222.)